that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
