Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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