I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
