Old men and throwing up are my life now.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
