I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
