thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I wish you could order shots online.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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