he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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