So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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