my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Couldāve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another manās cock... but there it is...
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