Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
