There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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