I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
