my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
