Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
