Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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