i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize