kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
