do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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