your parents love me but you hate me
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize