She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
