Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
