she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
