an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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