At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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