One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
