I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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