We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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