The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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