I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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