Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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