it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
