i don't like sucking hair
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
