i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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