can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
