I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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