if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm bleeding and have questions
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
