Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
