Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
