You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
