Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
