Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
