I hope mine doesn't look like that
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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