I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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