so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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