"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
