It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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