My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
