Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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