Pappa wants mamma naked
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
it was like eating out sand paper
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
