I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
