your parents love me but you hate me
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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