Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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