Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
