Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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