i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
