they need to just BURY HIM!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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