Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
