like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
