A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
