dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Semen is not good for contacts.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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