We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
