Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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