Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
two words...techno handjob
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
