my phone needs a breathalizer
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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