he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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