Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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