No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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