i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i now understand why vodka
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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