i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
