god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
